Attention Shoppers and/ Car Burglar

I found this hand written flyer posted in the underground garage of my local grocery store:

Attention Shoppers and/ Car Burglar

On Wednesday April 25th between 8:30 and 11:30 someone stole two center caps off my aluminum wheels. I have a silver ‘06 GMC pickup – tricked out – lowered, fully customized. Those center caps have “GMC” emblazoned on them. If you’ve seen anyone missing center caps on their wheels who routinely parks down here and now suddenly some shows up thats our guy.

But actually you don’t need to do that. Because as I said my truck is customized. And what our friend didn’t know is I have micro cameras (digital) that covers every square inch of my truck on the outside. I was able to download one so far – I can see him crouching down and I saw the thing in his hand he used to pry them off. Theres 25 more pictures I’m waiting on. To the Burglar – I’m going to crush you. Then take your whole truck – from now on everyday you walk this earth look over your shoulder. But you can stop this before I start by putting my caps in a box sealing it put it in one of those shopping carts and label the box Attn: R— Managers. You have 48 hours to do this by Monday – April 30th sundown. If not I’m posting those pictures all through this garage & internet. The Police want get them. I’m sadistic. I’m going to do you myself asshole.

An interesting thing about this flyer is the author’s sense of entitlement. Because he (presumably a male) owns the truck and paid for the custom work, he had a personal right to seek revenge on the thief. Nor does he hesitate to tell us how fantastic his truck is, or how clever he is to put micro cameras on it. One suspicious detail is this section: “Theres 25 more pictures I’m waiting on.” Why so specific? And how is it he is writing this flyer before viewing all the pictures?
I don’t give the guy very good odds at getting his center caps (are those the same as hubcaps?) back. Tonight is the deadline.

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